The Toughest Job
Okay clearly I swiped that from Chancellor Rhee’s February 9 OpEd:
Nonetheless I couldn’t find a more fitting title. The past five months have been incredibly tough. It’s been a string of sleepless nights and tearful mornings.
I’ve never done anything this hard in my life. And this is coming from someone who was abandoned by 14, only to take care of herself through sophomore year in college.
That shit wasn’t even hard. I proved I could survive; that I could adapt to change.
But teaching is its own beast. And teaching in DC is its own battlefield. It’s a place where Office of State Superintendent of Education, District of Columbia Public Schools, and District of Columbia Public Charter Schools are all fighting for power and attention. It’s a place where teachers spend their staff development time watching Hancock. It’s a place where principals hide in offices bombarded with paperwork. It’s a place where the average high school student has a fifth grade level.
Imagine my surprise when reading an IEP and thinking ‘Oh wow this 18 year old has a sixth grade reading level’. Talk about expectations.
And yet I love teaching. I love being around my kids.
I can’t wrap my head around it though. As much as you do, you feel like you are no closer to achieving. I’ve become that pessimist that I had sat beside in so many workshops and trainings.
I still recognise fragments of hope, energy, dedication, motivation and persistence I had when I first walked into my dear old school. But even my students noticed that I look run down. My hair is disheveled. My heels are lower. My eyes are gloomy.
And I’ve lost friends. Who wants to go out on Friday?
But I love teaching. I love my kids.
I have to remind myself of that everyday…if not I would probably just quit.
Yeah, I’m back temporarily. Bitter and tired as hell. But I’m back.